


Make Me Wanna Die

by Weevilo707



Series: Of Heaven and Earth Alternate Timeline AU [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crying, Gen, Imprisonment, Lots of Crying, Sadstuck, Spirit Dave Au, death mentions, i mean technically character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 13:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7802857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weevilo707/pseuds/Weevilo707
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave didn’t know what went wrong. He knew he fucked up though. Oh god he messed up so bad. He’d fucked up in the past sure but never like this. Holy shit he’d never thought things would go this way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make Me Wanna Die

Dave didn’t know what went wrong. He knew he fucked up though. Oh god he messed up so bad. He’d fucked up in the past sure but never like this. Holy shit he’d never thought things would go this way. 

Doubled over on himself he tried to put together what just happened through the panic swirling through him.

It’d just been a normal day, or at least as normal as days got anymore. Sure it was stressful and there were arguments, but that wasn't anything new. Shit had been weird since he’d kind of gone off the rails and started befriending the enemy to an alarming degree. Fuck, maybe everyone had been right about that. Maybe it had been the dumbest thing he could have done. He certainly felt like an idiot for it now. 

He’d been walking home with Rose. They’d walked that way a million fucking times, nothing ever happened. He didn’t know why today had to be any different, but it was.

Dave didn’t know what to think when Vriska had showed up. It was bad fucking news yeah, but he didn’t think it would end up like this. He should have seen this coming, but he was too stupid. They were all right about trusting the spirits being a bad idea. He wasn’t expecting this. He knew they killed and he knew that there was no reason for Vriska of all of them to take exception to him, but he just thought. There’d been so many chances already.

If they were going to kill him, he didn’t think they’d wait so fucking long to do it.

He could barely remember the specifics. He’d told her to fuck off and then there’d been fighting and Rose had been in danger. Vriska was going to fucking kill her and he'd panicked. Dave didn’t remember deciding to jump in the way but he must have. After that there was just pain and Rose screaming and Dave curled further in on himself.

He had no idea how long ago that had been or how he’d managed to get away or if Rose was safe. Fuck. Fucking hell he should have made sure Rose was okay.

Dave tried to push himself to his feet. It took much more effort than he was used to and he didn’t know if that was because of the panic and shock still leaving him shaking or if he was just that weak now. It wouldn’t surprise him if it was a combination of both though. It felt like it might have been both. 

God he could barely see. Dave wasn’t sure what that was about for a moment, but he soon realized that he was fucking sobbing. Yeah okay, that made sense. He had no idea when he started crying but he wasn't surprised. It took a few more minutes for him to get stable enough that wiping away the tears actually did something and weren’t just immediately replaced.

Okay. Okay, deep breaths. They weren’t helping, everything felt off which just kept hammering in what had just happened making him freak out all over again.

He had to do something. He didn’t know if this is what Vriska meant to do but he had to leave before she found him either way. He had to. Fuck. He knew what went into being a spirit. Damn it, there was no way he could handle any of that shit. He’d talked to Karkat about it before, what it was like and how horrible it was and he thought he understood but holy shit did he not understand at all.

There were a few seconds where he considered going to find Karkat. He might be able to help. He’d been through this, he would know what to do and how to calm him down enough to think clearly and form a plan.

He knew what it would all come down to though and he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t throw it back in Karkat’s face either and make him feel even worse about it than Dave knew he already did. He wasn't going to do that to him, as much as he wanted to see him right now.

There was a pretty easy solution to all of this. He just, god fucking damn it, it was terrifying. He didn’t even want to think about it even though it was staring him right in the face. There were no two ways about it though. Either he went full force into this and started killing other people so he could survive, or he ended this now.

He just really didn’t want to die.

He already had though, so the only thing left to do was just make sure he was finished for good.

Dave started off as soon as he made up him mind. It took a bit, but he managed to figure out which way was back to the base. He didn’t know if anyone knew what had happened yet. Maybe Rose had gotten away safely and had come back, or maybe she went home. There was no way for him to know. Still, he figured at least one person would still be at the base, if only to hold down the fort during all the panic that was sure to unfold.

When he finally reached the base he found himself halting outside of it. It wasn’t that he was afraid to go inside or anything like that. He just. Couldn’t see the building. It sent panic running down his spine before he remembered that he was a spirit now. He wasn’t supposed to be able to see the place.

He could still remember where the door was though, and instead of heading inside he just knocked. It felt fucking weird to do so, and he wasn’t even sure if it would make a sound at first but thankfully it did. 

Dave stumbled back a bit when Roxy appeared out of thin air, running towards him until suddenly she was gone.

“Wait, what the?” Turning towards her voice, she was now standing behind him. Oh. He hadn’t realized he was being all not corporeal. “Dave, what happened? We got a call and no one answered but there was screaming and Mom and Bro went to go check and oh, oh no. No, no, no Dave please no,” Roxy pleaded, seeming to realize exactly what had happened halfway through. Before Dave could figure out how to answer Dirk appeared out of the blank space Dave knew the door was supposed to be.

“Dave what’s going on, where’s Ro-oh fuck,” Dirk said. Roxy was crying at this point and Dave was having a very fucking hard time forming words.

“Don’t know,” he managed after a moment, answering what Dirk had been trying to ask. He should have tried to find her first. Roxy had said mom and bro went to check though. They would be a lot more help than he would be in his current predicament.

“Who did it?” Dirk asked, and there were a lot of emotions in his voice that Dave didn’t want to look at too much. He just had to get this over with as soon as possible. They’d be okay.

“Vri- the Spider,” he answered, not wanting to use her actual name right now. Dirk just nodded stiffly, and Roxy was still crying and fuck he couldn’t handle this.

“I- could you just, fuck, you know?” Dave asked, not sure to get ask them to fucking kill him. Damn it, no, he didn’t want to think of it like that. He was already dead. He just wanted them to make it so no one else had to die either.

“What?” Dirk asked, sounding genuinely confused. Roxy stopped crying a bit, also looking at him curiously.

“Like, with your sword, ya know? Just,” Dave fumbled, making a slicing motion at his throat and damn there were better ways to phrase that. From the horror that passed over their faces, yeah he could have asked in a more sensitive way. He just couldn't think all that well right now.

“What the fuck?! No! Why the hell would we do that?” Dirk asked, and it was so strange how silent Roxy was being. She was usually the more talkative one but she just looked petrified. Dave tried to figure out a way to explain what he wanted without sounding crazy.

“Look, just please. I’m already dead, what does it matter?” he asked. Dave took a deep breath, trying to calm down and not look at Roxy who’d started crying again. “I’m not gonna kill anyone. I’m _not._ Karkat said that it’s like, exhausting, and bad and takes forever to go by starving though, and I don’t wanna go through that.”

Dave hadn’t realized that he was crying again, quickly wiping away the tears and looking back up at Dirk. God, this was a fucking sick thing to ask him to do, but he didn’t know what else to do.

“Can you just please do it quick? Before anyone else comes back and sees?” he asked. The more people he saw the harder it would be to want to end it. He just had to get it over with.

“Yeah, alright,” Dirk said quietly after a long bout of silence, drawing his sword. Roxy let out a yelp of fear, turning towards Dirk with wide eyes.

“Dirk! What are you doing?!” she asked, sounding absolutely horrified. She wasn’t trying to stop him though, which was all that mattered. Dave could tell that Dirk was trying to just block her out for now. He figured they would talk about it later and Roxy would understand and it would be okay. God he just hoped they were all okay after this. 

“You’re sure about this?” he asked and Dave slowly nodded. He wanted to say that he wasn’t, that he just wanted a little bit longer to say goodbye to everyone but he knew that would just end badly. The sooner all of this was over, the better.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he said. Dave watched as Dirk tightened and loosened his grip on his sword several times, taking a few long breaths as he looked him over. Probably trying to figure out what would end him the fastest and least painfully. Seconds seemed to stretch on for a fucking eternity as Dave waited for him to just get on with it already.

When something slammed hard into his side Dave figured that Dirk had finally done it. There was a short half a second where Dave could still seem him though, his sword still clear out in front of him and nowhere near Dave.

“Oh no you don’t.”

Dave felt his entire body lock up at that voice. For a split second he could hear Roxy and Dirk start to shout, but it was quickly cut off as a burning sensation completely engulfed him.

When he finally managed to get his senses back enough to try to fight back it was hopeless. She was so much fucking stronger than him there was no goddamn way he was getting free. Dave left himself hang limp as she dragged him about, just waiting for her to finish what she started already. He wanted it to be someone he trusted. He didn't want her to be the last person he saw, but as long as it happened he guessed it didn't matter. When time continued to drag on and on with nothing happening to him though Dave started to get confused. 

“I’m not letting you just throw your life away, you hear?” Vriska said, completely stunning Dave. Before he could ask what the fuck she was talking about he was thrown into a small dark room, and he had no fucking idea where he was. She pulled him over to the wall, locking two chains tight around his wrist.

When he tried to pull free like he knew he could now, it didn’t work. “What the?” he mumbled without thinking, continuing to pull on the chains with no avail.

“Would you give it a rest? It’s not going to work,” Vriska said. Dave slowly stopped yanking on the chains, turning towards her. He couldn’t find his voice enough to ask her what the fuck she was doing, but it seemed like the confusion on his face was enough to prompt her into explaining.

“Just relax would you? I’m doing you a favor here. I’ll let you back out as soon as you stop freaking out and won’t go looking for the first person willing to off you, alright?” she said and it didn’t make any sense. Vriska had turned people into spirits on purpose before, but he just. He didn’t know what the fuck she would get out of turning him into one, or keeping him locked in here until he was fine with it.

Dave slumped to the ground, no idea what to do. There was no way he’d ever be fine with this. Fuck, he was going to be stuck in here forever. Vriska spared him a glance, rolling her eyes as she turned and walked towards the door. 

“You’ll thank me for this someday.”

**Author's Note:**

> hey so i finally wrote another thing for the spirit dave au! This is mainly just a thank you to everyone who's been asking about and enjoying the AU on my tumblr. Seriously, you're all awesome, thanks for sticking with me!


End file.
